I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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