If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Randomize
