Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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