She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
