i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
