he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
