Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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