So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
it's like iHOP with fire
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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