tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I've blown a few things in my day
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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