I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I just found a bag of teeth...
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
