this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
