Just mADE A PArabola og urine
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
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