Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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