Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
