why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
