my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
