You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
