And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize