guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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