D3 body, D1 cock
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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