the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
