Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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