Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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