Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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