What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
my being single is dangerous.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
tell me about the fingering
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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