Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
