She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
What a fucking waste of an outfit
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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