I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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