Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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