dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
