she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Did I show you my penis last night?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
