Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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