We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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