I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
