If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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