i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
