I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
