It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
it glows. i had to have it.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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