Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
