I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize