I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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