I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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