I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
