I CAN MOONWALK!
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
