Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
