Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize