She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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