FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
