i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
