stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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