i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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