PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize