Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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