so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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