You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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