i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
