Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
