guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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