The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
