I want to stick my p in your. b.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
