She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
