# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
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