I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
