What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i was born a porn star she said
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize
