How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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