did you get engaged???
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize