yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
That accounts for only three of the penises
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
