try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
