I hope mine doesn't look like that
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
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