Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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