he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize