Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i think i have herpe
just one?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
